Trump is worried that he won’t go into heaven. I don’t think he needs to worry | Dave Schilling

“W.Sick Donald Trump Entering heaven? “I know it’s a serious problem, currently the 79-year-old president, so we don’t have much time to solve this problem. What happens when we die. He called a radio show called Todd Starnes Show, something people heard when they took to the streets on the internet. He talked about military deployments in Washington, D.C., but also said Possible systems This determines the fate of your eternal soul. “There has to be some sort of transcript somewhere, you know, ‘Let’s go to heaven, let’s go to heaven.’ It’s a beautiful thing,” he told Starnes. He might want them to score on the curve.

In Fox News, Trump Expressed serious suspicion He will be summoned to the major leagues that live after death. “I want to try heaven if possible. I hear that I’m not in good condition. I’m really at the bottom of the totem pole.” I don’t know who he heard. Haven’t I read Quinnipiac’s poll? Has Steve Kornacki weighed from MSNBC (Sorry, MS) Big Board?

Unfortunately, the choice is in my hands. The afterlife is not democracy. According to the Catholic Church, only God Himself can vote. Even St. Peter has no say, even though I was told it was because he always Forgot to bring his driver’s license Go to the polling station. If things make the president stupid, he can always sue. The Supreme Court opened to hear his arguments.

Understandably, this man is publicly considering the results of his nearly eighty years of performance, almost in his own best interest as a real estate tycoon, reality TV star, WWE Hall of Fame member, WWE Hall of Fame member, WWE Hall of Fame member, WWE Hall of Fame member, WWE Hall of Fame member, WWE Hall of Fame member Steak Salesman,McDonald’s Enthusiastsand Cat lovers. The latter should be enough for him to start downstairs, but I never decided again. In the eyes of the Lord, the bad taste is not disqualified, which is why I am very positive Ed Hardy and Damien Hirst There is still a lens.

Deep down, even the strongest atheists may wish heaven exists, and we have the opportunity to frolick among the clouds in glittering robes and play harp all day. Alternatives – a nightmare of fire or something yawning everywhere – are not that pleasant.

I’m over a few years in my senior year of president, so I’d like to have a longer time before answering the final question, but it’s never too early to plan for the future. I want to go into heaven, too, but I don’t know how to do it. So when faced with tests that they didn’t learn, I did what any wise person would do.

I asked chatgpt.

Once I asked, my computer fan became speeding. The battery also began to emit a toxic stench that not only made my dog ​​repel my dog, but also caused my neighbors to break my door to make sure I didn’t decay quietly in the living room.

After the smell disappeared, I went back to work. Chatgpt speaks out, a brief summary provides a brief introduction to the position of all major religions on the prerequisites of heaven. Apart from obvious people like the belief in God, to-dos read aloud as suspiciously as a college application. You need to work charity, study and donate a million dollars to the Alumni Foundation. Simple stuff.

Chatgpt put some final “thinking” on the matter, which doesn’t spell out much about the actual steps needed to earn an air buffet.

“In many traditions, the focus is not just ‘entering into heaven’, but living a life of compassion, integrity and faith. While the paths vary, what many religions have in common is the importance of love, kindness and hard work to be the best version of themselves.”

I think I will do my best, but I can count to at least five times, and before I go to work, I can’t let everyone exit the elevator or forget to send gifts to a newlywed couple. I might have been screwed up. If I get screwed, how will Trump be sold? In the pessimistic moment of our dear leader, I think I should follow in his footsteps, Ignore the evidence I don’t want to hear and find a source of more sympathy.

Billy Graham Evangelical Society has a beneficial article The title “How can I be sure I go to heaven?” Almost immediately, I felt comforted. To quote Graham, “What is your redemption dependent on [Christ] Have done it for you, not what you did for him. What saves you is not your mastery of God. This is his control over you. ”

I’ve had enough. I’m sure I know all I need to know about saving myself from the cursed eyelashes of Lord Lucifer of Darkness. I don’t have to do anything. Stop all. I just have to check how much good things God has had so far, rather than considering how I behave, how I treat others or the big responsibilities that must be taken in the tangible world. Just like when you were a kid, you know if your parents would love you based on the toys they bought and how expensive they were. I drove an Audi, so I thought I might be on a nice list.

The article continues: “You can be a caring person, a good person, or even a volunteer of the year, but that’s never good enough.” Perfect. I didn’t even volunteer to help my son’s homework, I was full of credit card debt and took too long to clamp my toenails. It sounds like I don’t need to pay an absolute minimum monthly minimum amount” and “trim directly on the bathroom floor, my girlfriend repeatedly asked me not to do that”.

If we were to use Billy Graham as a guide Donald Trump To form upstairs. The only real requirement is that you have to have a personal relationship with God. He has a lot of money, which means God loves him. Eternity is just like business, it is about the network. Who is better than Donald J Trump? Even if Trump doesn’t have a personal cell phone number for God, I’m sure he can ask his friends to find it at the FBI.