I’m the last of Abras – Grandma is still looking for the “disappearance” of Argentina. I’m 87, but I’ll never give up | Buscarita Roa

Argentina 1976-83 Military dictatorship torture, killing and “disappearing” estimates 30,000 People – political opponents, students, artists, union leaders: Anyone who believes that it is threatening. He also picked up hundreds of babies, either imprisoned by his parents, or Give to military families. this Abuelas de Plaza de Mayo Almost fought for it Found these grandchildren in 50 years. Buscarita ROA is one of two surviving active members.

When Argentina’s army sank its claws into our country, our young, thoughtful young people began to disappear. They were taken from the streets, from home.

On November 28, 1978, my 22-year-old son José, his wife Marta and their young daughter Claudia were added to those “disappearing”. A military policeman in Argentina attacked their homes and I could never find them again. I went everywhere to search for them – police stations, courts, army camps, churches. I was desperate. But no one will answer me. Each door is closed. It was a suffocating closed time.

Then, one day, not long after, I watched a group of women walking around Mayo Square in Buenos Aires. These mothers and grandmothers have begun to gather to ask for answers about the missing relatives. I recognized one of the women. She said to come with us and I did it.

We – who would be called abuelas – did not know each other before. But we meet every week and walk around the square and identify each other with white turbans.

At first, some husbands came, but we knew they were at risk of “disappearance”, so those people stayed at home and we went alone. It was still dangerous, a horrible period when some of the first mothers were taken away by themselves.

When the police ordered us to leave, we did not, they charged us with horseback. But we were young at that time, so we could run.

Let’s start looking for answers to the police station and the court. We cried in front of them and they told us to go away and they didn’t want to see us. We know that dictatorship is looking at us from a distance.

My granddaughter’s disappearance plagued my life. She was only eight months old when she was taken away and whenever I saw a little girl who looked like her, I would follow her until I could stop until I saw her face. If there were anyone on my front door, I would think, oh, she must be home. At other times, people will tell us that they have seen a neighbor with a new baby. So we go to their house and try to glimpse the kids and see if they look like one of ours. We are doing crazy, desperate things, but that’s what we have.

Many years have passed before we start receiving any information. Most people don’t believe us, and those who think our son is a terrorist. Nevertheless, we continued to go to Mayo Square to pray for our children to return. When the country’s economic situation improves, we also start traveling abroad to share our stories.

In 2000, I found my granddaughter and was able to embrace her for the first time in twenty years. People raised suspicions and the judge agreed to investigate. We learned that Claudia was taken with her mother to a secret detention center “El Olimpo” where she was kept for three days before being illegally adopted by a military family. They created fake birth certificates signed by military doctors. My son and daughter were tortured and killed.

Claudia is missing in my heart every day. When I found her, I couldn’t explain how I felt. It’s a pure, overwhelming joy. But I was also very scared, worried that she would reject me. She was 21 years old at that time and had been raised by a military family. I can’t invade my granddaughter’s life like this, she needs to figure out the horrible facts and start trusting us. Slowly, long afternoon companion [a traditional herbal drink]we know each other and build beautiful relationships.

Abuelas’s help me heal. We laughed, we cried, we became friends. We are also ruthless – our women have not taken a break once in half a century. But while some of us found our grandson, others found only the bodies, and most of us didn’t find anything at all. Then there is the war of time; it is cruel, and many Abras die. We used to have many people, but now we are less than 10.

Estela de Carlotto, President of Abuelas, I am the last two active members. But we are getting older, and I don’t know how much life will bring us. We found 140 grandchildren, which were last reunited last month, but we estimate that nearly 300 people are still missing.

Those we found now occupy the mantle. It’s Carlotto’s tradition, I’ve left it: a generation is still looking for other people’s grandchildren.

My lifelong work includes finding a son and daughter. I’m 87 now, but I will never give up.